I seen this other dude a few weeks later at the store and he tells me that the guy that jumped me had his fucking face disfigured with boiling baby oil. Ya know on movie night the counselors bust out wit’ de popcorn. Well he put a cup of baby oil in the microwave behind de popcorn bag. He snuck the shit into the activity room because it looked like water. When the three minutes went beep , he pulled the popcorn out with one hand, baby oil cup in the other, and slung it across the couch and hit three motherfuckers with it. He melted ‘em.” “No shit.” “Fuck. One guy had his eyelid melted, another almost lost an ear and shit.” “Where’s the beer?” I said as I was trying to run from his sight. He started to explain how he had been "holding the same fucking beer can all night" as I slashed into the living room where at least people seemed happy, at least the music was decent: Evangelicals: Hello Jenn , and onward to the patio by the pool to ditch him completely. “Fucking. You far exceeded my expectations. You sure there are no loose ends?”Nancy beamed. “Nothing left. Thank you. I wanted to please you.”“Wait!” Dave said in realization. “How many extra hours did you put in to do this?”Nancy suddenly looked chagrined and blushed. She answered in a near whisper; “I did a double shift all week. I did my work and yours.”Dave shook his head. “DAMN! You didn’t have to do that. All you had to do was put out the fires. I want you to take comp time for what you did. What possessed you to think you had to do that?”Still looking contrite she said, “I didn’t think I had to, I did it because ... I really like you and wanted to make your life easier.”Dave went on guard a little. “I’m honored, I guess. I like you, too; that was why I picked you for this job, but I didn’t expect you to work sixteen hours a day to prove it. Did you get enough sleep?”“Yes, thank you. I usually get by on six hours. One night I slept on the sofa in your office.”“Shit, Nancy! Please don’t.
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